My Uncle Michael

Back home. Dem'shire spek.



Pangs of homesickness!

The Madness Of Diet Pills

Bovisand beach, Plymouth

The biggest memory of this place is the Christmas when Paul Cooke and I ran down to the beach after my dear mama gave me one of her diet pills as it 'makes you all hyper-active'.

She hadn't realised that the pills had a form of speed in them.

Paul and I had!

Cue much running around the beach playing princess barbies.

Legless In Looe

In the olden days, mum would organise a "legless in looe" trip for her workmates and I would come along and develop inappropriate crushes on all the young guys who she worked with.

The object of the trip would be to try and drink in every single pub in Looe.

No one has ever completed the challenge!

One or two of us gave it a bloody good try though including a guy called Richard who tore all his clothes off and threw himself into the freezing sea after someone shouted "skinny dip anyone?". He lost his clothes and had to suffer the giggling and pointing from all of us...that sea was very cold!

It happens to be quite a nice place to visit when you're sober too. However try not to go in the rain....

The Legend Of Nic, Nat And A Little Scrumpy

( Charles Church Roundabout in front of the new shopping precinct)

And so a little history lesson....

Charles Church roundabout. All I ever knew about this church was that it was the bombed out church left as a memorial to the devastation of World War II. Nicola Holdgate and I used to drink White Lightning Cider out of a can with a straw (the bubbles go straight to your head that way!) when we were seventeen.

I didn't know that whilst Nicky and I were giggling over who was the most 'tipsy' from our solitary can of scrumpy we were languishing in the second oldest church of Plymouth. And when we were scaring ourselves silly at the eerie shadows on the churches ruined walls we hadn't known that this church had come into being because of the anti-royalist feeling amongst Plymouthian puritans at the time. This church has become historic for the fight between King Charles' royalists and the puritans of the day who fought for democracy.

If we had known this, would we still have sneaked into the church grounds after dark, clutching our cider and straws wearing our hippy/goth clothes?

Probably but we would have had the decency to sing loud renditions of Seth Lakemans 1643 whilst we were drinking!

Rocking Around The A38

After an ardous journey trying to not dribble on my neighbours shoulder when falling asleep, I arrived back in the motherland.

PLYMOUTH..... Pervy Lesbian Yaks Masterbate Over Ursula's Thighs Hoorah!
(Adrian Edmondson, 1996)

It smells the same, that fresh, crisp scent mixed with a hint of field! However WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE TOWN CENTRE? It's gone all 21st century on me!

The new shopping centre is huge and has REAL shops in it. Not a pound shop was to be seen. This is not the Plymouth I remember.

And for Maxine, I know that Plymouth is supposed to be the worst dressed city in the UK but I did not see one pair of 'fuglys' worn by a janner (however this is subject to change, I've only been here for 24 hours, afterall). In fact the only reason I knew I hadn't secretly been whisked away to some more cosmopolitan place was the fact that everyone spoke janner.

There were "all right m'luver"s coming from every direction!

Anyway I have to go shop now. May not hear from me in a while, there are a lot of shops to look in, see?

I'll leave you with a lovely piccy that I relate to home.

PS, The most bizzarre sight of my 13 hour flight from Kuala Lumpur was the moment I spotted a gentlemen travelling in his finest tuxedo suit resplendant with dickie bow tie and stylish hankerchief!
.....In Cattle Class!