Trainspotters And Psychopaths Form An Orderly Queue To The Left

Because of my shift patterns, I have not seen my 'many' friends for what has felt like years. Imagine my surprise then, when Joe calls me to say that she can meet me in Perth one afternoon last week.

(All I can say is that I'm glad Shazza has a blog or else I wouldn't have a clue to what was happening in her life.)

Joe and I met up in Perth CBD for my favourite of all favourites.

Sushi and wine!




We went to a sushi train place. We were completely distracted for the whole afternoon. It was what I imagine seagulls to do when they meet up for an afternoon gossip.

"So how are things at work.....oh my god, did you see those pork dumplings? We MUST get some of those!"

*swipe*

"Did you hear about the thing that happened with Dave's beard and that....GET IT, GET IT...I lurve chicken katsu"

*grab*

Shall we get another bottle of....CRISPY CHILLI SQUID?!... Flipping marvellous. Tuck in bird!"

*shovel*




...And so the afternoon went on. The waitresses (all Asian and beautiful and tiny) were outwardly astonished at the amount of food and alcohol we put away.

All I can say is that the stomach and the liver are mere muscles. I've exercised mine so that they can deal with the most accomplished of meals and the finest of wine!

To finish off the afternoon we decided on a wee tipple in northbridge just over the railway tracks. We located the last free seats in the place and set our bucket of wine down on the table.

This is when the "idiots Here" UV tattoo shone out.

The guy sitting at our table seemed normal enough. He was even a bit cute if you squizzed your eyes up a bit and didn't view him in focus.

He immediately told us he was over from Manchester and was hoping to live here and bring his wife and two kids over.

Aw, how sweet... thought I.

WRONG!

He then told me that in 'no fucking uncertain terms' could I trust my boyfriend and that he could almost guarantee that Dave was sleeping with someone else.

He didn't quite understand why we found that so hilarious!

He told us that he was in Oz so that he could turn his life around. His stays in The Priory for alcoholism and drug use were only very recent.

He proudly told us all about the twelve step programme he had embarked on.

As he sipped from his latest pint, Joe and I looked at each other and telepathically vowed to flee from the scene!