Thursday, January 26, 2006

Advance Australia Fair



Australia Day.

The one day (?!) a year where Aussies can go lounge about on open grassy banks on the riverside, drink booze and watch fireworks.

So the sun went down...

Picnic rug? Check.

Smoked salmon, cream cheese and french bread? Check.

Radio blaring hits of the Aussie eighties? Check.

Fireworks? Check.

A couple of bottles of wine? Check, unfortunately!

Hence the following pic of the fireworks!!


(Note to self: Must not drink and expect to be not unlike professional photographer at these events!)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

John Butler Trio

The sunset started off the show!

The trio themselves. John Butler is the one in dreads on the left!

Dave, moi, John and Brett after a 'couple' of Little Creatures pilsners. Sainsburys used to sell Little Creatures pale ale. Go out and buy some if it's still there. We may have drunk them dry before we moved out here!

We saw the John Butler Trio at the Freo arts centre tonight. Flipping brilliant.

Can I marry him as well as Xavier Rudd?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Revenge of Jaws

Ladies and Gentlemen. I have great pleasure in announcing that here in Perth there was a shark attack in our local waters!

Du duh du duh du duh du duh...

How flipping exciting? A man was diving for crays when bam, he got smashed into by a great white (not even some poncy tiger shark or grey nurse shark but a real proper job great white just like in the films!).

But don't worry, Mr Great White only had a wee nibble and swam off. The bloke didn't even lose a limb....this time!

The best thing was that I was in the water at that precise moment splashing and rolling around like a seal pup....only about seven kms away from the attack site.

It makes me realise that I'm living in a land full of dangers and adventures. All I need now is to get bitten by a snake!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Favourite Doorman Except For Ian

Chris. The Man I named my 'Little Scottish Bare Bottomed Kilty Man' after!

However this Chris was a Yorkshire Man and therefore not Scottish!

But he was cute! And we did meet him in Aberdeen. Even in the best nightclub 'Club Tropicana' where the rubiks cubes are disco lights and George Michael was straight!

...And shazza fancies him! ...Well not him but Gingers in general!

(...maybe thats why she is my best friend?)

Monday, January 16, 2006

Jack Sparrow

I must tell you that this Jack sparrow entry is courtesy of Hazel. She is obsessed with Johnny Depp (more than anyone!) to the point of naming her two birds Jack and Sparrow!

Check out this quiz to find out which one of his quotable sayings you are most like!

(Why did mine mention marriage then?)

Jack Sparrow

chain holding jack
Good stuff, you are "Wedding? I love
weddings! Drinks all around." You're the
life of the party and nothing gets you down,
not even certain death at the hands of your
zombie nemesis or the Navy. Come to think of
it, realism isn't your strong suit...

Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
brought to you by

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Seven Things...

Just Jane, I accept your 'sort of' challenge (it's been a slow week!!) Have added one more section though!:

Seven things to do before I die...
  1. Learn to play more than the five chords I can, on the guitar (hey F was a pretty tricky one to learn I think you'll find!)
  2. See the Angel Falls in Venuezuala
  3. Eat an unknown animal body part from a foreign market food stall. And not care!
  4. Learn to scubadive without fear of seaweed or sea monsters
  5. Gate crash a C list celebs party!
  6. Travel around and through Oz driving a beat up camper van with seventies floral curtains and sofa cushions
  7. Learn more useless sentances in foreign languages. Today I learnt 'Hujan di luen?'. Is it raining? Malay. Not a necessary sentence in Perth! (Previous learning: Awak nak lihad saya punya anak anjing!! Saya ada kupu kupu delam perut kami!)

Seven things I cannot do...

  1. Leapfrog (Nic, do you remember when we were ten, Mr Carwithin stopping gym class to let everyone in our class watch us not leapfrog over each other? And to think I liked him..)
  2. Say no to alcohol (last night was testimount to this. Four pints and still to cycle home...)
  3. Cook (except scrambled eggs and thai curries)
  4. Not get distracted by the tv. If it's on then you may as well say goodbye to any conversation
  5. Multi task
  6. Leave work on time!
  7. Dive head first

Seven things that attracts me to blogging...

  1. Being able to get away with not emailing my mates every day. (I just cannot do the whole global email thing so this way people can read about me if they want and ignore me when they are fed up with me!)
  2. Reading about other peoples exciting lives. This gives you access to those people who would never had crossed your path otherwise.
  3. Pretending that I have an avid reader fanbase! (I also own a hairbrush for those 'I am the next Madonna' moments!)
  4. Having a record of my first months in this new and often weird land. In years to come I'll be able to look back and remember how I used to freak out at having to walk outside without shoes on (what about the spiders?) and sunbathing in the wintertime!
  5. Meeting new people through the wonder of the web
  6. Not sitting in front of the telly being forced to watch Iron chef on a Saturday night!
  7. Flicking through those really boring sites whilst smugly allowing yourself to think that at least yours isn't all about your genius talented satan loving child!

Seven things I say most...

  1. That mings like a cheap vase (urgh, tha's disgusding, loike)
  2. A mouth like gandhi's flipflop (quick somone gizzus a drink)
  3. Aye she's a right mink (She's not a very nice young lady that one)
  4. Thats the badger (Thats the bastard there)
  5. No, but (in all reality, I promise. Vicky Pollard stole that from me.....unfortunately)
  6. Now you're working my tits (am getting slightly exasperated with you now)
  7. Classy bird (what an upmarket elegant lady)

Seven things you don't know about me...

  1. As well as seaweed I'm also scared of: the dark, ghosts, wasps, dying, wurzel gummidge, growing up, tongues, Stephen King novels, cockroaches, penile implants (don't, they are flippin' scary!), the red lips from Rocky Horror and my ceiling caving in on me!
  2. I regularly jump around on my bed (alone, I might add!) pretending to be a pop star on Top of the Pops.
  3. I am forever rewriting scenes in my head. Scenes where I actually have the balls to fight back against someone who has said something nasty to me. In these scenes I am confident, authoritative but witty and manage to put the offender down to the applause of the crowd!
  4. I'm still shit scared of becoming one of those smug settled down types that can only think about bringing children into the world and the life revolved around the rearing of said sproglets.
  5. I bite the inside of my lip when stressed or upset.
  6. I live in fear of 'being taken into the office'
  7. I love chocolate but hate chocolate icecream

Seven films and TV programmes I could watch over and over again...

  1. Green Wing (even better the second time round. It's on over here now!)
  2. Shaun of the Dead
  3. Pretty Woman
  4. Charlies Angels
  5. Truly Madly Deeply
  6. Tank Girl
  7. Kath and Kim

Seven Books I love...

  1. The Woman Who Walked into Doors Roddy Doyle
  2. Divas Las Vegas Belinda Jones
  3. Are You Dave Gorman? Dave Gorman
  4. The Time Travellers Wife Audrey Niffenegger (My absolute favourite!)
  5. Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates Tom Robbins
  6. Anything by Roald Dahl
  7. Angels and Demons Dan Brown

People I would like to tag...

(should be seven but I don't know seven people that blog!) So...........

Hazel and Chris, you're next!

However I would like to see these people post theirs in the comments area: Shaz, Hols, Sparkle, Becks, Ali G, Rhonda/Chuz.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Laid back or can't be arsed?






Our ceiling is caving in!

It started to crack the Friday before New Years Eve so I rang the realty office.
No one was there!
I rang on NYE (obviously there wasn't much chance but still..) and no one was in.
I left it until Tuesday the 3rd. Someone answered that time and promised to 'get right onto it'.
The builder came around on Wednesday 4th and sucked air through his teeth...

'It's going to collapse you know' He said authoritatively

'Yes, I realised that' said Dave. 'What can you do about it?'

'Not sure' he replied. 'We'll have to get hold of the owners but you know they could be on their holidays, it being Christmas and all'

And so there it was left. I rang again this morning to be told that the builders didn't come back from their holidays until Tuesday 17th so they would organise something then! She told me not to worry when I asked her if she was aware that the ceiling was getting worse and was definitely going to collapse at some point in the near future.

So for the time being we have a Bunnings Warehouse discount broom holding up our roof.

Bloody laid back Aussies!

Dave here !!! (taking over for a wee bit from the shite Nat's been floging recently)

"Laid back aussies" is a good saying, and I'm not ashamed of it. It's better than being labelled "a hyper-reactive whingeing pommie bastard (sheila)". Yes it is hot, yes the mosquitoes do bite, yes there are flies that fly into your mouth, yes a wrong step whilst walking in long grass could mean lights-out (Joe Blake-stylee), yes there are sharks in the water, yes.... "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto", and yes the CEILING WILL FALL IN. It will let in more breeze to cool you down. Get over it! !! Its better than being in ABERDEEN. Just keep that in mind !!!! (Sorry to my friends in ScAberdeen, its not your fault !!!).

Anyway, at least she's out there having a go. What are you doing ?

Monday, January 09, 2006

My New Favourite Place



The Oyster Bar. My new fave place. Its a bar/ restaurant on the beach. It has no ceilings just a couple of sail shades strung about the place. For the sunbathers there are deckchairs. For the 'I've run the 2k beach and now I want to collapse' brigade there are the sofas. For the rest of us there are the pick of cushioned cabanas, rocking chairs and sit down tables.

There are live bands in the afternoon and when we were there, Jose Padilla to play the sunset! There is a barbeque area offering burgers, hotdogs and seafood skewers. For the sit down meal lot there is the posh restaurant area.

It's within cycles reach and a dozen oysters are ten bucks!

Anyone jealous yet?

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Chuzzle, Our Great Supervisor















James, surely a stud muffin at his own tea party!
















Barry. I love him. Even though he's Cornish!


(Pictures courtesy of Chuzzle, 2005)

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Rottnest Island


(Thompson Bay, Rottnest Island. The picture does not do it justice)

Today we went to Rottnest Island. It was discovered by a Dutch man who proclaimed the island infested with rats (hence the name- Rats nest) however he had mistaken the Quokkas for rats. They look like giant hamsters with tails, crossed with kangaroos. Quokkas are timid peacful creatures whose worst enemy is man. Or seventeen year old men! A few weeks ago some stupid nasty piece of work 'posted' a quokka in the island post box. The poor thing was there from Friday til Monday morning when a postie found him dead. I have no idea how anyone could be nasty to these animals because they are so lovely, docile and above all, cute.


(A Quokka)

Rottnest is a small island 18 kms off the coast of Western Australia. Such a small distance but such a dramatic change.

When I told you before about the turquoise water of Leighton Beach, don't listen to my crap. This place made the water of Perth look like a cheap plastic imitation of Turquoise.

Today I saw the water in its semi precious jewel state.

Clear turquoise water, white sand, little fishes swimming around. It felt like paradise. We hired bikes and went for a cycle around the island.

However I didn't allow for the fact that the breeze would be a hot 38 degrees. The air was blowing around like the air coming out of a furnace. The small pockets of coolish air were my only relief. Pretty soon we had to stop and throw ourselves into the water.

We found a deserted beach (totally living up to my desert island fantasy) and peeled off our sweaty tshirts. I was submerged within thirty seconds which isn't bad for flippers, snorkel and mask having to be applied first.

I have an announcement to make.....

I actually snorkelled over seaweed!!

A huge acheivement I think you'll find?! I think I've mentioned my phobia about seaweed before. It didn't help matters when I heard that sharks had been circling Rottnest for the last couple of weeks since a dead whale had washed up on one of the beaches. Everytime I submerged myself in the waters I would freak myself out by imagining a shark stalking me in a Stephen Spielberg way. In fact when I would throw my head out of the water like a frightened heroine I was slightly disapointed to find that there was no black fin circling me alongside the 'Du Duh, Du Duh' soundtrack in my head!


(Our desert island hideaway)

Anyway I saw lots of fish swimming. At one point a massive fish was swimming away from me so fast that he swam into the 'big black' without me noticing. After a few seconds I was thrashing around like I'd been caught in that awful film 'Open Water'.

The 'big black' still scares the shit out of me! You can't see the sand at the bottom. I think I'm ok when I can see the sand at the bottom even if its a fine line between seaweed clumps. Anyway I managed to snorkel back to the clear sandy bottomed water within a few seconds. I even managed to procure a few massive shells from the bottom of the sea on the way.

The only thing to do at the end of the day was to reside at the Quokka Arms and have a few beers whilst sitting on the wall overlooking the clear waters.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Xavier Rudd

I have a new obsession. Xavier Rudd. He can play the guitar and the didgeridoo at the same time. Everything a girl could want!

We went to see him at the Fremantle Arts Centre. It was an open air concert and he came on stage just as the sun was setting in a vivid pink sky. He asked a Noongar aboriganal elder to open his show (Perth and Fremantle were built on Noongar land) and she blessed the show and the land for him!

The whole night had that chilled out, sitting in your back garden feel to it. We sat out on the grass and amongst the eucalypt trees and drank Fremantle beer and let good ole Xavier entertain us. His music is a mixture of roots, blues, reggae, chilled out rock and ambient.

Yet another spine tingling moment under muddled stars.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Mama Sparkle


(Sparkle, Kirsty and Nat)

Today is the anniversary of the day that my mama came into the world.

Yes, for my dear mother is twenty nine years old (again!)! And still beautiful. I hope I got those genes as well as the scatty ones too!!

Sparkle, only 363 days til you get here and party!

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Celebrity Sweepstakes

Pick three celebs who you think will die this year. The first one to complete the full set will win twenty bucks!

My predictions:



  • Angus Young (AC/DC)

  • Pete Doherty

  • Maggie Thatcher

Happy New Year!