Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Slow Drag


me this week....

I'm not freakishly tall by any means. I think 5'8" is ok for a woman. I mean, of course I still get a little self conscious when I'm out in heels (taking me to well over 6') and all of my friends appear thousands of feet below the cloud line! I do seem to stoop a bit more but that's only because I can't possibly hear the conversation from my lofty position. I remain grateful that I can claw my way to the front of the crowd at a gig and be able to mosh in the front few lines without missing any of the hot band action.

This week though, I have had to re-assess my situation and have wished for the first time that I was just a little smaller....maybe 8 inches or so!

Swing dancing is to blame.

I had attended another class with a genius named Shane (my inappropriate crush for the winter, resplendent with tattoos and wearing trousers befitting any grandfather! Swoon.... but I digress) and we were to learn the slow drag. This is a swing dance for those times when the music slows and you're trying to woo the lady of your dreams. The man approaches, takes your hand and then thrusts his body into yours achieving contact from the chesticles to the hips. From there he swings you round and you endeavour to look a little like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing but with the man less shining torso a la Patrick Swayze-the delish and more flannelette shirt a la Doug-the idiot.

Here within, the problem lies.

What happens when a perfectly skilled Asian of less than average stature tries to swing you into one of these slow swing moves?

The old joke of the Doctor examining a woman's breasts, comes to mind.

"Madam, before I examine your breasts I shall have to numb the area...

....numb numb numb numb, num... yum..."

10 comments:

Holly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Holly said...

Nat, I am concerned. Yes concerned.

That you, Nat have a crush on a man who wears grandad trousers! That is soooo funny!

J.J said...

We are the same height darling! And I empathise re the dancing problem.

Spunky Trunks said...

You are a dish!

Nat said...

Moo, YEEEESSSS for he is truly devoid of uncoolness. He is a living god!

....swoon.

JJ, Really? Damn. Why do you live in the UK? All of my friends seem to be around the 5' mark. Isn't it a bugger to have to hunch over to hear conversations all the time?

Spunkster, you make me blush.... continue!

Sparkle said...

Love you little baby princess. Loads and loads of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Hunch over? HUNCH OVER!! It is not my fault you are a feak!!
What is Joe short for!!??
HA HA HA!!

Holly said...

have you given up blogging my sweet!?

Sparkle said...

Love you loads and miss you like crazy. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxSparkly Fairy

Nat said...

Joe, Cos she's got little legs!

Mama, I love you too. When are you free for a chat?

Moo, not given up but t'internet has been buggered for a little while and before that I was furiously painting.