The Sights You see When You Don't Have A Gun (And You're Queueing For Another Visa To Let You Stay In The Country )

In my spare time I like to do charity work. Helping the needy. Caring for those who cannot fathom the daily banalities of life. That sort of unsung hero type of work.

Recently I escorted Joe to have her mandatory X-Ray for her Aussie visa. Saying that she was a little worried about it was like saying that Hitler was a little bit naughty! I had to literally frogmarch her into the building and sit on her handbag so she wouldn't run away.

Luckily we met a complete idiot in the queue which took her mind off things for a while.

The man in the queue in front of us didn't speak much English. We were perplexed when he started looking Joe up and down while tapping with his pointy finger at the sign stating that "if this is your first visit, you will be required to provide a urine sample. Drinking water is available around the corner next to the toilets".

...?

Joe obviously found him extremely offensive and proceeded to make derogatory remarks loud enough for me to become worried about immigratory violence. If it had come down to it though, my money would have been on Joe. Even though this chap had a mean looking moustache and an ability to spit whilst talking, you should never underestimate the ferocity of a girl forced to have an X-Ray against her will.

When he eventually got to the woman behind the desk (after much complaining and questioning Joe personally why there was a delay to his appointment to which she replied with cute and imaginative swear words!) he had to have his photograph taken. Joe and I could not hide our glee when all we could hear was...

Her: *click* I'm sorry sir, you blinked in that one, I'll have to take it again.

Him: ...

Her: *click* Oh, Sir, you blinked again

Him: ...

Her: *click* ...and again

Him: ...

Her: *click* Sir, could you please stop screwing your face up. I really need your picture

Him: ....

Her: *click* Really Sir, Do you actually WANT your next visa?


If only it was that easy to keep the fuckwits out of this country!