My beau. My better half. The mature and sensible side to this partnership. I give you my 41 year old boyfriend.
Friday evening. Better Homes and Gardens on the television. The 'Creative' comes onto the telly to show you how to make manky old flip flops into 'art'. The boy clears his throat...
Him: 'Do you think my nose is a bit weird?'
Him *prodding at the side of his nose*: 'Do you think it's a bit skinny?'
Him: '...and lumpy?'
Him: 'It's just that Poppy mentioned something to me earlier'
Me: 'Poppy? Our German Shepard Mutt who is currently paying far too much time to her doggy girlie bits for it to be entirely normal? Or hygienic?'
Him: 'Yes. Princess Poppy. The P. Dog. Popstar.'
Me: 'I'm going for wine. I may be a while...'