Coffin Dodgers...Yet Another Debauched Night.

Part Two of Bithday Proceedings....

The night started off demurely enough. We were spirited back to the 1950s for a rockabilly night where all the men looked like Elvis and all the women dressed like Betty Page.


(A creepy looking Elvis who insisted on following us around all night with the futile hope of getting a snog from one of us!)

However the peace was soon shattered when a man who looked like Sex Machine from Dusk til Dawn started a fight in the booth behind me. He launched himself at an unsuspecting fellow drinker and broke his nose. To add insult to injury he then grabbed my beer and threw the bottle at this poor guy.


...Covering me in beer in the process!

The bloody cheek of it. I know that guy had a broken nose but I. Was. Covered. In. Beer!


(Sex Machine. With Beer)

So I did what any unreasonable person would do. I ran after 'Sex Machine' to demand another beer and an apology. Now in the broad light of day I realise that this is not one of my smartest moves but I have been known to break men who are a lot tougher! My mission worked though as he apologised profusely bought a couple of beers for Joe and I and then my charms seemed to become extra-potent as he tried unsuccessfully to woo me!

He turned to me and uttered sotto voce "Don't tell anyone but I'm a prominent member of a local bikie gang called the Coffin Dodgers"


(not actually their real name but the name that I confused them with leaving a much funnier mental image of purple rinsed al' wifeys dragging their zimmer frames onto the back of their harleys!)

Me, " Ooh I've read about you. You're quite naughty"

Dramatic pause with eyes darting around room as if being watched "You're not to tell anyone"

Me "But you know I'll tell my friends!"

Him forcefully "No. Not ANYONE"

Me obliviously "But I will tell my friends"

Him dangerously "....No" and then came 'The Look'.


Shaz and Joe did a remarkable job of creating a diversion, saving me from his grubby clutches and dragging me away to the next pub. Safe again. Well as safe as you can be in the soiled depravity of Northbridge on a Saturday night.

All this and we didn't even get to sing bad karaoke in the sound-proofed rooms of the local Asian bar!