(Natalie's downfall)
I thought I would show my appreciation for my lovely boyfriend and cook him his dinner. I can only cook two dishes, Thai green curry or scrambled eggs...
Thai green curry it is then.
This is how my itinerary went...
- Pour glass of wine.
- Serve Dave glass of wine with wifely smile and an enquiry into his laborious day.
- Chop vegetables including onions.
- Try not to cry with onions.
- Hop around kitchen willing tears to dry.
- Heat oil in pan.
- Realise chicken is still in freezer.
- Switch off gas ring.
- Pour another glass of wine
- Over defrost chicken.
- Accidentally cut off fingernail when chopping chicken.... luckily not finger.
- Brown chicken meat too much on one side as very interesting documentary on telly.
- Cook onions.
- Reminder from Dave re: garlic. Argh, hunt for garlic.
- Chop garlic and then realise it's off. Find more garlic which suspiciously doesn't smell like garlic and is much larger than normal???
- Add green curry paste, coconut cream and a little water... oops, a lot of water,
- Try and simmer off excess juice for a few minutes whilst smiling reassuringly at Dave (he isn't buying it though).
- Stir through curry to avoid stuff sticking to bottom and inadvertently flick two lumps of chicken and a glob of sauce over the side of pan and onto floor.
- Wipe up floor in haphazard manner.
- Rewipe floor when slip on still greasy spot from haphazard cleaning.
- More wine? Why sshank you...
- Add rice to boiling water.....who knows how much? I add a cupful before adding extra...just in case.
- Watch in horror as rice fluffs up and spills over side of pan resulting in milky residue over nice clean cooker.
- Watch more of documentary before realising that rice has almost boiled dry.
- Serve, apologise and phone friend for outing to pub to get over stress of wifely duties!
No wonder Dave does ALL the cooking in our house!
12 comments:
Ah! But you didn't slice off the top of your thumb and have to lie on the floor mid-faint while phoning your husband to tell him to hurry up and come home cos you were bleeding to death, all in the name of dinner-on-the-table wifely duty, did you?
Luckily you're not a squeamish wuss like me! :)
(It's ok people, my thumbtip was easily identifiable among the potato slices because of the fingerprint on it)
P.S. I'm sure you are the original Bridget!
ha, brilliant Nat! Let Dave do the cooking, for I fear you'll ne dup killing yourself in some weird way!
Headline: Girl dies in Horrific cooking disaster...
Nice one Nat. And you make sure and enjoy yourself tonight. It is tonight, ain't it? Hey, wait a minute, tonight has already happened for you down under. So, how were the TCS? We want a post. Unfortunately, I'll not be able to see it for over a week!
H, only you could chop off your finger. Sounds v painful. Am glad M came to the rescue....he DID come to the rescue, right?
Moo, Dave thinks that I do it on purpose so that he'll have to do the cooking! I can assure you that my cooking is all my own work though!
Reidski, no not tonight. They're playing in the Oxford on Sunday. Am off night shifts then so will be ready for a drink or four! Have a lovely week though, ta raa....
Oh Natalie I knew I was a bad mother fancy a GIRL not being able to cook. You were always too busy with a book in your hand that was you. Love ya.. Your brother is a good little cook now but he always phone's your Dad for cooking tips though, so I guess it was me that was the poor role model. I remember I could cook once but I never did really enjoy cooking. I say leave it for those who get pleasure out of it. Love you so much. Sparkle.xxxxxxxxxxxx
h that is soooooo grossss i will never look at potato slices in the same way again!!!!!!! hope you got all patched up nicely!!!
nat of course dave doesnt think you do it on purpose!!! you just get a little waylaid by the wine, tv etc etc. its a girl thing!!! looking forward to the tcs tomorrow definately need some girly drinking, the kids are driving me crazy!!!!
Ma, you taught me the most important lesson....find a man who likes to cook and can cook fabulous stuff.
Shaz, bring it onnn. It'll be great to get out. We've a couple of busy weeks ahead, eh?
I love Australia!
Next time, when you chop onions, try taking a large piece of soft bread (crustless) and holding it in your mouth, pressed to the palate. That helps absorb some of the fumes and reduces the tears.
Sounds like you had yourself a head of elephant garlic. Not a good substitute, alas.
Every cook has a night like that. I just shrug, pour myself a glass of wine, and order out.
Moy, Thanks for the tips. will definitely try your bread trick next time I attempt to cook....sometime in 2012!!
The wine option is a MUST!
happy Birthday for Thursday, I shall be in Hungary so wont be around to say on the day!! HAve a good one!!
I love green curry, but the one time I tried making it, I made it WAY too hot. One drop on the tongue made me break out in sweat.
Never again!
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