One of my patients today was a holiday maker. Bloody pommie bastard! Fresh off the plane he started to feel unwell (an unnervingly common occurence it would seem here. All you Blightys beware) and therefore presented to Fremantle hospital.
It turns out he has cancer and has developed a slight confusion. Me being the most brilliantly observant nurse proceeded to talk to this chap and ascertain that he was neither stupid or confused.
...until Dr Brilliant walks into the room.
'Hello Mr Pommie Bastard, I'm Dr Brilliant. How are you doing today?'
'Not bad Doctor, I just wish I was at home with my daughter enjoying my holiday with my wife. Any chance of getting out of this place?'
'Well we have some tests to run and we think that maybe the steroids you're taking are interfering with your memory function a bit. '
And so proceeded the 'mini-mental' examination to determine the extent of this mans confusion or lack thereof...
'So, Mr Pommie bastard, could you tell me what the date is?'
(why would he know this? He's on holiday for gods sake.) I stood behind the curtain with baited breath...
'Christ knows, um...20th or something?'
(Ok, I'll take that. It's pretty close)
'Ok, and what season is it?'
(Obviously a trick question. He's pom. It's winter back home but summer here. Would he get it right?)
'Easy, winter....no I'm in Australia right? Then it must be summer?'
(Wooohooo, take that Dr Brilliant, not so smug now eh? By the way, am now cheerleading with imaginary pompoms behind the safety of the curtain)
'Well done. Last but not least could you tell me who the prime minister of England is?'
'Ooh, I know this one. It's good old Tony. Umm, Tony... Tony Blackburn!'
(Arse)
6 comments:
Blackburn thats hilarious!!
Nat, you are a better writer than that faceache Gorman.
x
Excellent!
And BIG thanks to all three of you for support given. Bloody hell...do not know what I ever did to deserve a visit from Mr Duff!
Jane, have just read your blog comments. Blimey....
Let's hope he took Nat's advice!
Moo, I would probably still be living in Blighty if Tony Blackburn actually was pm!
Spunky, Gorman was funny a couple of years ago. It's really childish! sorry. Obviously I have better tastes now??! (prob not) x
JJ, No problems, if you have any more problems with him then send him to me and I'll stand behind a big tough bloke and shout horrid things about his bald spot! (It works when I'm in nightclubs!). And it wasn't you, it was him. Antagonistic bastard!
H, Never, I could almost imagine/see the pulsating vein on his forehead throbbing. He's the type to get a kick out of being the most hated blogger!
I love a bit of banter me!
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