The Perfect Girlfriend

Have been making such a fuss about not having any friends to go out with, get drunk and dance on tables recently. I managed to emotionally blackmail Dave into taking me to the pub to see a band. Well it was my birthday recently!

Dave was really not happy about spending time in public, without the telly (or more importantly his remote control. It's like his comfort blankie) and with the strong possibility he would have to talk to me for more than twenty minutes. Anyway I coaxed my fab peep toed high heeled 'lady' shoes out from the back of the cupboard where they had lain looking folorn since we arrived here and with one extra swoosh of juicy tubes I was bundling Dave into a taxi.

We arrived at Clancy's Sea Food Pub in Freo and with a heavy sigh Dave pushed the door open and we entered my heaven. Clancy's is a little bit eclectic with big plastic fish and other fabulous tat on the wall and vibrant colours everywhere. We found a seat at a table which was nothing more than a big perspex box with a model of a fish in it. The fish was made out of every different type of chip. Very kitsch! We ordered food (btw the sea food platter is flipping gorge-tastic. Be sure to wear elastic pants when going to Clancy's) and sat down with a beer.

After a couple of pints of Little Creatures pale ale I was feeling quite merry and this is where things start to go downhill. The pub band dimmed the lights and started playing. They were called 'Blue Shaddy' and were very good. A mix of pub rock, blues and a bit country. Anyway I somehow forgot Dave was my boyfriend and started making lewd jokes about the harmonica player. All of which I found so incredibly funny I was laughing so much I was starting to spill my beer. Dave just sat there with a look of horror on his face. When I pulled out my camera to start taking piccies Dave hissed at me to put that bloody thing away. I managed to get a couple of shots of the band before I started to look like a Brit tourist?!

By the end of the night I was so tipsy that I was now everyone's friend. I chatted up the band of which the harmonica player mysteriously disappeared when I walked over and then I started talking to a bikey couple. He was an Aussie with all beard and baldy heid and she was a fellow Brit. Obviously my new best friends. They were such a cute couple and looked like they were so in love. I chatted for a while until Dave cut short the evenings entertainment and marched me off the premises with me blowing kisses back to my new found friends!

I don't think Dave will ever take me to the pub again. Unless I promise not to drink anything. And speak to no one!