Tenuous Links to Fame...

• When I was yet to be born, my mum and dad were having a very romantic meal in some little Cornish restaurant at the same time that Donald Sutherland and Jenny Agutter had happened to visit (they were filming 'The Eagle Has Landed'). Donald was trying to impress Jenny and ordered the most expensive bottle of champagne in the place. When it arrived at the table Jenny said 'I'm very sorry but I don't actually drink alcohol'. Feeling defeated, he gave the whole bottle to my parents. My dad was driving so....that is why my mum was found chucking her guts up in the toilets two hours later!

I blame Donald Sutherland for my complete scattiness and inability to co-ordinate my limbs when hungover!

• Kirsty and I made Macy jump!

...thats it!

• I once met Tori Amos. My friend James spoke to her telling her how much he admired her bosendorfer piano and how he wished he had one also. She just smiled beatifically and murmered 'hmmm', before moving on to sign someone elses picture.

Me? I thrust a fake copy of her tour poster under her nose and made her scribble on it before I fled from the embarrassment of showing her my counterfeit goods!

• I was in the Plymouth Theatre Royal panto in 1986. My 'co-stars' (I was part of the babes troupe) included Benny from 'Crossroads', Nyree Dawn Porter from 'Forsyth Saga' and Donald Hewlett from 'You Rang, M'Lord'. Nyree was a total lady. Always gracious and kind. Benny on the other hand was a knobjockey. He spat everywhere and pushed past us mere mortals to get to his space on the stage. When my baby brother (aged then at 8 years old) rushed up to the stage dressed as Benny with beeny hat and dungerees on (putting on a fake stutter), Knob-head Benny didn't think it was funny and ordered him off the stage!

• Ali, Kirsty and I spent a memorable evening on the Island of Ibiza with an ex-boyfriend of Agnetha from Abba! We drank at some local bars and then spent the evening dancing with him and his son in Pacha.

• A year before, Ali, Hazel and I were staying in the room next door to 'our Mike' from Brookside. He liked to wear his shorts high on his waist and adorn trendy(?) bumbags. His mates were a good laugh though. A holiday is always good when you're staying next door to skinhead drunken scousers!
  

• My friend H's auntie was Cherie Blairs obstetrician (poor woman!). She delivered baby Leo and I presume, had to peer up Mrs Blairs foof.

All money earned was deserved, I'll say!

• I used to work with Shirley Mansons sister in law in Aberdeen (a true rock moment).

I invited her (through Denise) to my leaving party. Alas, she was otherwise engaged and could not attend!

• I went to Shania Twains producers wedding c/o Paul. His sister was the bride. She is gorgeous. Much more than that Shania bird!

No, Shania did not attend. I think the producer (Simon) was a 'music whore'. Paid his money and told to fuck off!

• At Pauls sister Ruths wedding, I met a bone fide popstar. Remember Apache Indian? He was the best man and took a taxi ride with me to make sure I got to the wedding party safely. And his wife was the coolest chick ever and I promised to keep in touch but never got her number. I did wibble in the belly area when I realised I'd be sharing a taxi with this hunk of a man. He's much more divine that I ever remembered him being in the nineties (must have been the dayglo and bum bags putting me off?). However, his wife was much more gorgeous and the law of the bird states that 'thou shalt not make fluttery eyes at another birds bloke'

• Hazel and I camped in the VIP area at Reading festival and almost met Finlay Quaye and Jarvis Cocker but I was too drunk to move from my sleeping bag.

I know, I'm starting to repeat myself. I've told this one!

• I chatted up the gay one (Gavin) from the Brittas Empire in a Bournemouth nightclub before he waggled his wedding ring at me and I remembered that I was 'off men' at that time!

I actually used the line...'I recognise you, do I know you?'

He replied with '... I'm an actor, dahling!' (hmm, I made up the dahling bit!)

• Dave went to school with the two nerdy ones from INXS.
  

(I can't tell which ones are the nerdy ones!!)

• Dave's mum went to school with Rolf Harris

• Dave's mums ashes are now scattered in the same cemetary as Bon Scott from AC/DC

• Chris and I took a 'Working Lunch' presenters cherry. We were most proud of ourselves. (...of course literally. We literally took this mans cherry. We were at the same picnic and he bought a bag of cherries. Nobody else in our group got the joke!)

• I was on 'You've Been Framed'. Some months ago, Dave shouted up to me that I was on the telly. They were playing my clip again. Dave had never seen it before but he had remembered it when my dad had told him about it! Incidentally I was totally unrecognisable, skinny, fifteen years old, shy, wearing a leotard and tapdancing around a stick stuck in the stage floor!

• I used to dance in competitions with Lisa Kay who was an ever presence on hollyoaks for a couple of years. I tried and failed to NOT have a crush on her older brother David. He was delish. Even my ma had naughty feelings about him....

I hope she's doing well with her career. She was always lovely and never succumbed to the bitchiness that dancing festivals can bring out in some people.

• I used to hang out in the green room in the Theatre Royal when I worked there. I ate on the next table to Neil from the Young Ones. We would spend our lunch hours pouting and nudging each other in the ribs about the celeb on the next table eating chicken curry and chips!
  

• H and I nearly met Tom Jones at Reading. (I've told this one before too...)

A Security guy fell for H and let us back stage (I got to wear a shiny yellow security jacket!). We missed Tom by a matter of seconds. He was driving out of the place waving out of the back window when we walked through the back stage door.

Security guy didn't even get a snog from the delectable H for his trouble!




Ali, Nicky and I befriended a guy (when on holiday in Ibiza) who was once on Byker Grove (when it first started out with Ant and Dec, man. Apparently Spuggy was quite stroppy!)

• Paul was invited up on stage at a festival by Rowetta. We were crowd surfing and she must have taken a shine to him.
  

The security guards didn't think that he was all that shiny though and threw him out after they threw me out!